Iris
by Harpy Wings
Summary: Inspired by the Goo Goo Doll's song Iris. Remus reflects on his love for Sirius and their song. After Sirius's imprisonment. SBRL


**Hey,**

**I've been having some writing problems so I decided to write out a one-shot to help my creative juices. It's a Sirius/Remus fic, inspired by the song **Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls **(a brilliant song, I urge you to listen to). Anyway, please enjoy! **

**Iris**

The wind tugged at the trail of his long coat. Winter was settling in thick and there was a thin layer of brown snow lay upon the ground. It was undisturbed and the man walked gingerly, careful to avoid puddles of muddy snow. He was approaching his destination, he could tell by how the trees started to grow thicker. He had walked this trail dozens of time, the familiar sharp turn, almost invisible under leaves, snow and overgrowth of thick thistles. But now it felt so distant, so unfamiliar, where it had once brought comfort it now brought pain.

He was nearing his destination. Pushing aside a branch he was able to walk into a beautiful clearing. It was simple really; Surrounded by tall willows with lush green grass and a gazebo with white rose vines creeping up the poles.

Moving across the grass the man could see images run through his mind, so distant they felt like another's, as though he were watching a movie of another's past.

Seating himself on the cold steps he looked out over the trees, the wind whistled through the leaves, letting them sway like dancers across a ballroom floor.

"Remus?"

He looked over his shoulder and he could see her walking towards him. She wore black like he did, a sundress, although she shivered in the cool air. Her long blonde curls caught the light of the full moon. Her crystal blue eyes looked down at him almost sympathetically. He could see they were red rimmed.

"Mary, what are you doing here?" Remus whispered, his voice carrying across to her.

"I followed you." She sat beside him and her hand took his, entwining their fingers. "It's beautiful here."

Remus nodded once, his amber eyes lingering on their joined hand. With his free hand he pushed back strands of dusty brown hair, streaked with early grey. He felt at least a hundred years older and not just because of the approaching full moon.

Dusk was setting across the sky, painting the tops of the trees in pale light. The sounds of night insects filled the air, creating a lazy tune. It was perfect, beautiful, the most romantic setting anyone could imagine, but it brought a cold feeling to Remus, a feeling that settled in his chest and refused to move.

"Nobody guessed," Mary whispered, her eyes never leaving the sky, "Nobody blames you."

Oh course they blame me, I blame me! Remus snarled in his head.

He should have know, should have seen it. Sirius Black the traitor, the closest to Lily and James Potter, their best friends, who betrayed them to his Dark Lord and just to add salt to the wound Sirius had been the love of Remus' life.

Looking around he could remember the first time he had ever found this place. The memory ran through his mind like a movie, playing out every inch of detail so he could bask in the pain and love the memory brought him.

He had been sixteen then, there were no grey streaks in his hair although lines had started to etch around his eyes. Remus could even remember what he had worn, loose jeans and a blue sweat shirt. More clearly he could remember Sirius, Sirius with his careless handsome appearance, wearing tight jeans and a black button down shirt and towered over Remus by half a head.

Sirius had given him his lopsided grin and held his smaller hand in his. Remus had blushed faintly, still unused to his new relationship with his former best friend. Sirius had just winked, leading him through the trees.

"Where are we going?" Remus called, looking around as the trees began to thicken.

"You'll see." Sirius had called back in a sing song voice.

They had appeared in this very same place, the roses on the gazebo in full bloom. It had been dusk like it was now, but there were stars painted across the sky and the moon was slowly making its appearance. Everything was beautiful.

"Siri, what is this place?" Remus breathed softly, moving forwards to look around.

"It's our place." Sirius informed him smugly. He slipped an arm around the thin werewolf's waist. "Like it?"

Remus smiled up at him, his eyes glowing. "Love it."

Remus tried to forget those perfect moments when he had been so in love with Sirius that the pain of his betrayal felt ten fold more, but it was hard to forget him, hard to let go.

He could remember one absolutely perfect moment. They were eighteen and had just graduated from Hogwarts. To celebrate Sirius had taken him back to the gazebo, to 'their place'.

"I got you a surprise." Sirius grinned, leading Remus into the shelter of the gazebo.

"What is it?" Remus looked around but he couldn't see anything. He looked back at the young Black curiously who responded with a short, sweet kiss, the ones that left Remus wanting more.

"It's this." He waved his wand and music sprang to life around them. It was acoustic guitar and Sirius bowed, holding out his hand with a gleam to his eye. "May I have this dance?"

"Of course." Remus allowed Sirius to pull him close. It felt perfect, as though the world had stopped spinning long enough to allow them their time.

Lyrics started to play and Remus listened as he danced.

_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now  
_

"What is this song?" Remus whispered.

"Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls." Sirius' voice was close to his ear and his warm breath sent shivers down his spine. Remus looked up, his amber orbs meeting Sirius's pale blue. "I love you." Their lips met in the most wonderful kiss of Remus's life.

_And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight_

Remus let out a small sigh. Merlin how he missed those moments. That had been the first time Sirius had told him he loved him, right in that moment he was sure that he could and wouldn't love another. He felt stupid and foolish.

"What are you humming?" Mary asked quietly. She didn't meet his eyes and he knew she had started crying again. She and Lily had been close at school.

"It's Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls." Remus replied, his throat tightening. "Sirius and my song, I hadn't realized I was singing it."

Mary let out a choked sob and released his hand, wrapping her arms around him. In turn he embraced her and they sat together under the darkening sky as they remembered their lost friends and Remus mourned the man he had once loved.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed. I give you permission to yell at me to update, I know I've been neglecting my fics for a while and I feel bad. By the way, the song lyrics are only the first and second verse, I didn't put the chorus in, simply because I felt the two verses fit the scene perfectly. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!**

**With love,**

**Harpy Wings **


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